By Susan Spencer
Telegram & Gazette Staff

GRAFTON - Jeanne M. Talbot of Grafton recalled that even before age 3, her child - then named Nicholas - had an obsession with the Disney princess Mulan.

Nicholas went to Walt Disney World and sang the song "Reflections" from the movie "Mulan" with the lyrics: “When will my reflection show who I am inside?”

While Ms. Talbot was coaching T-ball, teaching kids how to slide in the mud, Nicholas would be picking dandelions in the field.

Nicholas transitioned in February to Nicole, now a striking, petite 14-year-old with a clear melodic voice and a few professional acting and singing roles filling out her eighth-grade schedule.

Laura Cohen-Gordon of Northboro remembered her daughter at age 5, who looked in the mirror backstage at a dance recital, in costume and makeup, and complained, “Why do I look like a girl?”

Elijah Cohen-Gordon, 14, came out as a transgender boy to his Jewish family on Christmas Eve. He has started testosterone therapy and now proudly shows off a budding Adam’s apple.

The Talbot and Cohen-Gordon families were among some 20 families with transgender members from Boston to Springfield who gathered Monday night at the Brigham Hill Community Barn to meet informally with legislators.

State Sen. Michael O. Moore, D-Millbury, hosted the event, which also included state Rep. David K. Muradian Jr., R-Grafton, and Rep. Paul R. Heroux, D-Attleboro.

The meet-and-greet was held the night before the state Legislature’s Judiciary Committee was scheduled to hear testimony on bills filed by Reps. Byron Rushing, D-Boston, and Denise Provost, D-Somerville, and Sen. Sonia Chang-Diaz, D-Boston (H 1577, S 735) that would expand anti-discrimination laws to allow access to legally gender-segregated public facilities based on a person's gender identity.

Mr. Moore said that at first, “It was difficult to wrap my head around” access to public facilities based on a person’s gender identity.

But after speaking with Ms. Talbot and seeing Nicole, he said: “This is where you put a face to the issue. They profile this as ‘the bathroom bill.’ They’re not looking at real people.”

Mason J. Dunn, executive director of the Massachusetts Transgender Political Coalition and co-chairman of the Massachusetts Freedom Coalition, which support the bills, said the gathering was an excellent opportunity to bring legislators and community members together.

“It’s really the education piece of it,” Mr. Dunn said. “There’s still a huge amount of misperception about the transgender community.”

Attorney General Maura Healey and U.S. Rep. Joseph Kennedy III are expected to testify in favor of the bills, according to State House News Service.

Gov. Charlie Baker said he wanted to see the details of the bill before taking a stand.

In 2011 legislation was enacted that provides legal protection to transgender people in the credit and lending, housing, employment and public education. But it did not address public accommodations.

The proposed bills would add gender identity to the state’s civil rights laws for public accommodations, including restaurants, theaters and hospitals.

Ms. Talbot, who works in corporate marketing but never was politically active before, said, “As the years progressed, it was persistent, insistent and consistent that she (Nicole) is a girl.”

Although at first Ms. Talbot felt guilty, particularly as a divorced mother, she said, “As it turns out, it’s not my fault. She was born this way and she was perfectly born this way.”

She continued, “These chapters are not in the parenting books. ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’ - It’s not there.”

Nicole is currently “socially transitioned” and taking drugs to block puberty, which Ms. Talbot explained “pushes the pause button to give the child time to really be sure” about his or her transition before any irreversible change is made.

Elijah had already begun puberty so it was too late for the blockers.

But he was eager to transition and has started testosterone, which isn’t reversible.

“My first instinct was, ‘How am I ever going to live without my daughter?’ ” Ms. Cohen-Gordon said.

Now, “There is absolutely nothing different about my child except he is happier, well-adjusted, confident and living authentically,” she said.

Recalling dark psychological times before the transition, she added, “The transition has saved this child’s life.”

The Cohen-Gordons said Elijah has been accepted remarkably well by family, friends and his school.

Previously an active Girl Scout, Elijah said, “Behind their back, I went and joined the Boy Scouts.” The move required district officials’ OK, but so far it has worked well.

“It’s just amazing how unthinkable this would have been a couple years ago,” said Elijah’s father, Ronald Gordon. Mr. Gordon plans to testify at the Statehouse on Tuesday.

The Cohen-Gordons have also started a blog, NotOpaque.com, about parenting a transgender teen. They gave it the title "Not Opaque" because, they said, they are “trans parents.”

Amy, of Lexington, who didn’t want her last name used, said her child Alex began the transition from girl to boy at age 8.

“He wanted things to change immediately. I needed a little time,” she said.

“Looking back now, I see signs. When he was 2 or 3, he told me he wanted to be a boy. He was always a tomboy but I didn’t think anything of it. He always wanted to be the dad when playing house,” she said. “He just knew.”

Her husband, Roger, said he was scared at first.

“I wasn’t expecting it. It took a little adjustment on my side because I didn’t want to believe it,” Roger said. “Then I had to trust myself to support my child.”

Roger said the transition has gone “very smoothly.”

He said, “We even have a 65-year-old nun in our family and she has no problems with it, which is amazing.”

Other transgender families have also found plenty of acceptance, at least for now.

“My family was very, very accepting of me, as was my school,” said 15-year-old Hayden Switzer of Norton, who transitioned from a boy at age 12.

“I keep waiting for that other shoe to fall, but so far school has been amazing,” added her mother, Maura Switzer.

But Ms. Switzer was worried that outside the realm of friends and school, “It’s very scary not having the law behind you for public accommodations.”

Ms. Talbot said parenting a transgender child has made her a better person.

“It’s just really opened my eyes to the diversity in the world and the struggle we’re all facing.”

SOURCE: http://www.telegram.com/article/20151005/NEWS/151009473